Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Banana Omelet

After a series of trails, with a lot of spontaneous generation errors, this is my optimal, nonnutritive for kitchen microorganism proliferation grocery list:

1. Bananas (still green)

2. Eggs

3. Garlic powder

4. General dried spices

5. Oil

6. Honey

There are days when I can’t get out of bed and I drag myself out onto my couch, and then I have to rest for a few minutes before I make it to the bathroom, which afterwards I need at least an hour to recover. Nothing sucks more than having no desire to live, dwelling in self pity, entertaining suicide fantasies and post suicide events and being so hungry, that hydrochloric acid is burning holes into my stomach. The items on this list provide me with a quick fix. They also provide me with the option of using my frying pan over and over again without going through having to wash it. Especially when there are days where I just simply can’t eat, based solely on how overwhelming the task of washing my dishes seems to be. I mean I will be hungry, starving practically and every time I’ll make it to the kitchen to finally make food. I’ll catch my breath and look at my frying pan and I just cannot do it. So I return to the couch and rest for a few more hours.

Sometimes, I’m just not hungry for days, and then I start noticing my cats chasing invisible things in the air. A closer look reveals them to be fruit flies. I’ve grown some pretty interesting mould. Lemons make a great medium for cultivation. They also seriously metamorphose. Pasta grows this neon orange fuzz around it.

The items on my list need to be easy to prepare, have relatively enough nutrients so I don’t collapse from malnutrition, can be cooked in a variety of ways and allow me some time before they start growing things on them.

Bananas I would consider the foundation food. It doesn’t require washing, and I don’t need to have a dish to eat out of. The peels are easy to discard. I can eat it raw or I can cook it. I can eat it raw with honey, or I can fry it and eat it with honey.

Eggs require that I have a bit more energy, but basically can I can pull off a pretty decent omelet or scrabbled eggs in less than 5 minutes. If I’m feeling really drained I go for the scrambled because I don’t have to premix it in a bowl, which means one less dish to wash. I just crack open the eggs straight into the frying pan, add the spices and mix, mix, mix as fast I can. If I mix really well and really fast, the frying pan stays clean enough to be used again without having to wash it for my next meal.

On a manic day my creativity kicked in, and since this is all I had at home, I made myself a banana omelet. I was a bit worried at first, but it turned out pretty good.

Recipe for Banana Omelet

(Gluten and casein free, for more information on bipolar nutrition visit nutrition links)

Number of dishes that will have to be washed:

2 bowls (one for mixing and one for eating)

1 frying pan

1 spatula

2 forks (one for mixing and one for eating, or you can use one fork for mixing and just give it a quick rinse)

Preparation time:

2 minutes

Cooking time:

5 minutes

Ingredients:

4 eggs

2 bananas (diced)

2 tbs of garlic powder

4 tbs Thai chili and garlic sauce

4 tbs ground cumin

1 tbs ground black pepper

½ tbs salt

Preparation:

Break open the eggs and add all spices to the bowl

Beat till homogenous

Add bananas

Mix

Heat oil in frying pan

Pour contents of the bowl

After 3 minutes use spatula and flip omelet on other side

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

you could mix in the pan, and eat out of the pan, thereby nixing the two bowls. but you would have to have the patience to wait for the pan to cool down so you don't burn your lap through the potholder.

Baham Abu Sarj said...

That's just fantastic, hahahaa.It never even occured to me.. Will keep that in mind. Thanks

Philip Brubaker said...

ha ha, I love how one of your labels is 'fruit flies' I expect more fruit fly posts from now on...

And yes, I am quite familiar with the fascination held by moldy fruit. Lemons, when completely moldy, turn bright white and look as if they've been dusted with powdered sugar. I've worked in produce for six years, so I've seen how cruel Mother Nature can be to innocent ripened ovaries.

Anonymous said...

Bravo, what excellent message

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